Writing carved order into my chaos

Today my life has felt like a frantic marketplace. Between completing business administration tasks, my own phd research, and managing day to day life, my day has felt noisy, crowded, perpetually rushing towards a deadline that I have no control over. What has been helpful in this chaos has been my writing. It is the Stoic centre in a world that thrives on distraction.

For years I lived in the ‘noise’. I navigated the transition from a structure corporate-style grind to the beautiful (but often terrifying) void of a full-time researcher and writer. My sense of self in those moments felt like a thousand loose parchments without binding.

The Stoics believed that we do not control the world, only how we respond to it. Writing initially was my form of control. Starting out as ‘to-do’ lists and compiling calendars, writing eventually became my fortress for everything. I started a journal at the beginning of my Oxford Masters. Initially a form of record keeping, it evolved into a place of safety, a space where putting pen to paper illuminated the darkness of the swirl of my thoughts. Writing allowed me to stop being the supporting character in someone’s play, and start being the historian of my own life. A stressful day became, ‘this is not an ending, it’s just a difficult chapter.’

Personal writing is one thing. Academic writing is another. We have all been there. I might be a great writer in my own journal but when I read some of my favourite scholar’s monographs, highlight quotes, and annotate in the margins, I feel like a total imposter! There is something about the prose that makes me sigh and say, ‘I wish I could write like that.’

Academics face anxiety over writing daily, whether this is for a dissertation, thesis or essay, or an abstract for a conference paper. We often find ourselves paralysed, fingers trembling over the keyboard, our thoughts frozen in a mist of insecurity. ‘How can I write this perfectly’, is the accompanying thought. Dr. Polly and Dr. Khalia, from our wonderful PhDone program, wrote about overcoming perfectionism in a previous post. And indeed, perfectionism can show up in different ways. The fear of perfectionism only adds to the fear of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboards).

So how do we deal with the intimidating reality of the academic prose?

Academic writing is not your everyday writing, and sometimes it doesn’t even feel real. We feel the need to use complicated and advanced vocabulary, fancy transitions, and overall, sound smarter than we think we are. But we are already smart enough to write this way! In those moments of paralysis, we need to have an anchor, a practice that gets us to write one word, and then another. This is all a part of a dedicated writing practice.

Writing practices can include a warm cup of tea, a lit candle, a calm playlist. Or it can be breaking the block by sending yourself a voice message, talking with a friend, or setting a timer and not lifting the pen from the paper for the full duration. Writing is often a process of discovery. It helps you to think through ideas, test out connections, and see our research in new ways. Let your drafts be messy, curious and lively! It does not have to be perfect - it just has to keep moving!

For me, its in the quiet of the early mornings or late nights. My day has stopped. I am not rushing through my life. These precious moments are illuminating for me. I watch as the light streams across my desk, or the sound of rain on my window. The rhythm of my thoughts comes through and all of the small victories of the day are celebrated, where they would usually get lost in the shuffle.

Developing this practice didn’t just make me a better writer; it made me a better liver of life! It was the knight in shinning armour for myself when things got tough. It is anchor that we want to bring to the community.

Starting Monday February 2nd, we are launching our 14-day challenge: For the Love of Writers over in Accepted Society.

This isn’t your standard ‘write 500 words’ challenge. We are going deeper. We are going back to the Lyceums of Athens and the Cloisters of the Middle Ages. Through dedicated daily writing sessions, we will practice:

• Socratic Dialogue to find the voice of our writing

• Stoic Brevity to trim the excess from our prose

• ‘Illumination’ to bring sensory richness to our writing

Whether you are a seasoned writer or someone who hasn’t picked up a pen since school, I invite you to join us. Let’s stop letting our lives be written for us. Let’s pick up the stylus and carve something that lasts.