"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.
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On this bonus episode, Heather welcomes Heather Shaw to the studio. Shaw is most known for her uncanny Jim Carrey impression and being vegan and sober. These two outspoken broads chat about if that was really Jim on the carpet a few months ago, the illuminati and other conspiracies. She is currently on the road and you can watch her special, Alright, See Ya! , on Youtube. Episode Sponsors: To get…
On this episode, Heather has just come back from an Ole Miss visit and is flying high from Rush work week. She is feeling nostalgic helping a friend’s kid move into the dorms, getting roped into Rush Tok, and figuring out that parents these days just love their kids more. Episode Sponsors: Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/absolutely . Get…
On this episode, Heather is feeling the stress of “back to school”, and per usual she didn’t do her summer reading. She gets her energy out with Robin at a Home Goods that would convince any non shoppers to try it out. Voicemails from teachers, that first workout back, why everything has protein and what is up with asking for a coast lawyer. Episode Sponsors: Head to…
On this episode, Heather is hitting summer hard, but paying for it. We learn what the Doctor has diagnosed her with, the feelings seeing a Noah Kahan concert brought up and how life as a homeowner is starting out. We get iconic voicemails that are Absolutely Not going to disappoint. Episode Sponsors: Visit hillhousehome.com and use code absolutely at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Give…
On this episode, Heather is on a tear after some heated meetings as well as cancelled flights. While she had to miss the World Cup due to her own flight being canceled, she is here to teach everyone about flight etiquette. She chats about critics of The Odyssey, Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs, and how Jeff is turning off every light now that they are homeowners. Heather takes on the voicemails and…
On this replay episode from November 2, 2022 Heather is back from taping her first special, Son I Never Had, in Lexington, Kentucky. She is full of gratitude as well as adrenaline after filming. Son I Never Had is now available to stream on Hulu and to watch for free on Youtube! Episode Sponsors: Head to TryFirstleaf.com/absolutely to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS…
On this episode, Heather is back from one of the most insane weekends of her life. Manifested so hard that she ended up in Hyde Park with Pitbull breaking a world record for most bald caps! She chats about how emotional it was to see the Bald-es as well as meeting Armando. She also details the rest of the weekend in London from Wimbledon to Kesha. Be sure to watch Youtube for an exclusive surprise…
On this episode, Heather is back from Europe and shares the highs, lows, and heavy flows of her anniversary vacation including the story of finally securing The Bag in Paris. She explains why sometimes you just have to do it for the plot and how a decade of dressing as Pitbull led to a surreal full-circle moment. Episode Sponsors: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/absolutely…
On this episode, Heather is in LA and brings one of her oldest friends from childhood, James Abrahart to the pod. JHart is an award winning music producer, singer and reality star. Their lore starts in James’ parents basement where they used to create rap albums and eat way too many Pubsubs. They chat about their wild childhood neighbors of Whitney Houston and T-Boz, as well as them being the…
On this replay episode from June 15, 2022 she is getting ready for her wedding in Italy, and fast forward to 2026 her and Jeff are on their way to Florence for their anniversary. You’ll hear Heather have a mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. You’ll see that she has turned into one of THOSE brides and is ready to tell everyone to fuck off all while losing…
On this episode, Heather is coming to you all live from a fabulous hotel in Florence, Italy where she and Jeff are celebrating their wedding anniversary. She starts off the pod chatting about her big move without one very important person- Robin. Heather chats about how Off Campus has changed her brain chemistry. She brings us up to speed about her first days of travel to Italy and how American…
On this episode, Heather welcomes Rosebud Baker back to the podcast. Rosebud has been busy since the last cruise. She now has a 2 year old daughter, is getting divorced and even had time to write a book! Fully Baked is a memoir that tackles family tragedy, motherhood, addiction all with honesty and humor. She also chats about her time and her departure from SNL. Episode Sponsors: For a limited…
On this bonus episode, Heather continues her conversation with Sharon McMahon, covering a hypothetical run for office, a special tribute in Heather's act, and the story behind the “I Love Sharon McMahon” billboards. Episode Sponsors: Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to Naturium.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first purchase today. Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your…
On this episode, Heather welcomes America’s government teacher, Sharon McMahon. They chat about their shared last name, lake life in Minnesota, and of course WTF is going on with our country and government. Sharon breaks Heather’s questions down in a way that anyone with extreme ADHD can understand. Episode Sponsors: Visit www.vivrelle.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for your first month free. Support…
On this episode, Heather is back in ATL after shooting her 3rd special in Knoxville, TN. She chats about the crazy audience members, going through a McDonalds drive-thru, how she was booking a vacation while she should’ve been concentrating on her special. It’s been a long weekend, and the next few days she will be kicking her heels up. She takes on some of the most unhinged voicemails to date and…
On this episode, Heather brings the road dogs to the studio to give us all an in-depth recap of tour life. Andrew, Raymond, Christina and Heather reminisce about their favorite cities, toughest shows, the origin of Texas Tony and someone's reliance on Recticare. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order…
On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to chat about conspiracy theories. Last week we gave you a prompt about your favorite theories. We spiral on the missing scientists, data centers, lost planes, the moon landing, the Antarctic ice wall and finding love with aliens. Episode Sponsors: Help protect your home systems – and your wallet – with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at…
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the new NYC Dear Media studios. Fresh off the heels of Netflix is a Joke, she has some explaining to do about her show in LA. She got to see friends and foes alike! We get voicemails from women buying $20 panties and girlies having a cruise reunion at the special taping. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off…
On this episode Heather brings hilarious comedian and friend Jay Jurden to the pod. Jay and Heather go all the way back to the undergrad theatre department at Ole Miss. They reminisce about their hate for Lane Kiffin, being a theatre major together and how their paths lead them to Netflix is a Joke festival. You can catch Jay’s latest special, Yes Ma’am, on Hulu. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your…
On this replay episode, Heather tells us what really happened at Netflix is a Joke in 2024. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the finish line, yet feels hungry for more. She also answers some of the best Absolutely Not's and Yes's…
On this episode, Heather welcomes Suzanne Lambert to the podcast to chat about all things growing up in Georgia, the drama of politics and spray tans. The commiserate about sorority life, hotties in the senate, and Connecticut Karen’s. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. For a limited…
On this episode, Heather is in full overstimulation mode as she juggles work chaos, no WiFi, and a rogue bird. She explains why “we’ll cry in June” has become her current life motto and is ready to launch a full investigation into the missing scientists. She then gets to your calls about birth conspiracies, offline shopping problems, and frat formals. Episode Sponsors: Head to…
On this episode, Heather is back from her unreal show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. She chats about the afterparty on Broadway where she was pouring lemondrop shots for the girls where she is brought back to her days behind the sticks. After having a conspiracy dinner in the Turks, she came home to binge watch multiple documentaries. She takes voicemails from people with a workplace crush,…
On this episode, Heather is down in the basement and going through a lot right now. Her fat kneecap is fat, but a visit to the Dr.’s office leads to hearing a missing puzzle piece about her Dad. She also chats about the Buff City Soap mafia coming for her. We hear voicemails from one of our Love on the Spectrum favorites, a mom debating about using her kid on TikTok and a royal family hater.…
In honor of Masters Week, we are replaying a 2023 episode where we join Heather as she sits down with the ultimate scammer, Raymond. We discuss how they scammed their way into the Masters tournament, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They get into just how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they…
On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the podcast studio after breaking the hard news that Becky cannot join us on the Absolutely Knot Cruise 2.0. They chat about the happy memories from the cruise. Becky lets us know how she lets loose when she comes home from the road. Episode Sponsors: When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at…
On this episode, Heather is at the LA studio and welcoming her first live callers! These hussies really bring some wild spring break Absolutely Not’s to Heather and we are forever changed! We have callers that were down at the Villages, on a hetero bachelor party in Baltimore, wheelin’ and dealin’ in Daytona as a newly crowned amateur stripper, a near miss on girls gone wild Gen Xer and someone…
On this episode, Heather welcomes Jeff to the studio to discuss all things Japan! They go through their wagyu dinner reservations, baseball with Ohtani, treats from 7-11 and overall Japanese culture. They give you everything you need to know before heading over to Japan for the first time. Episode Sponsors: Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine,…
On this episode, Heather is back in Robin's Basement and ready to take on the chaos of the week. She has some exciting news about an upcoming live voicemails episode- make sure to take notes on how you can be chosen to chat with Heather. She has fresh highlights, lashes and is contemplating how a government shuts down. She chats about life as a tee ball mom as well as her newest internet troll.…
On this episode, Heather is back from Japan and has already put on her Nurse Ratchet outfit. There is no rest yet, she has to now take care of a toddler, figure out what to do with a frozen Christmas ham and get a surgery scheduled. She takes on voicemails about the origins of tiramisu and men holding their own baby showers. Episode Sponsors: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save…
On this episode from March 9, 2022, we hear Heather go on a real tear about International Women's Day. Coming off of a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes on tour, she's back with attitude and some Heather health advice (we all know she is not a Dr., but wears a short white coat). Heather also takes voicemails from the hotline. Episode Sponsors: Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15%…
On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow comedian Nicole Byer. They chat about meeting in the NYC comedy scene, the Heated Rivalry boys, and disassociating while on stage performing. They take on a voicemail about having sex dreams about a boss. You can find Nicole’s new crowd work special on YouTube, out on tour and or on any of her many podcasts. Episode Sponsors: Your emotional wellbeing…
On this episode, Heather has skeeted into the house fresh off a nose bleed. She is ready to take on her birthday month of March! She shares details of an upcoming shoot she is nervous about and her shows in Texas and her roots in the rodeo. Heading to Japan soon, she is ready to adopt Punch herself. She takes on a voicemail about the theatre kids version of the high school sport team. Episode…
On this episode, Heather welcomes back your rich BFF, Vivian Tu, back to the pod. She is ready for all of you to be well-endowed, but wants you to make sure you don’t fall for the traps of online marketing. Vivian wants you to ask yourself- are you buying the thing or the feeling? Heather goes to her threads to ask Vivian what the people have questions about. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your…
On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels about her, as well as a reluctant cat daddy and a MIL who is just trying to help! Episode Sponsors: Head…
On this episode, Heather welcomes the iconic CNN white house correspondent, Kaitlan Collins to the pod. We get to hear all about flying on Air Force One, being in the press room, and of course her recent question and reaction she received from the President. They touch on the Epstein files, the presses’ relationship with Karoline Leavitt, and knowing which Truth social posts are actually coming…
On this episode, Heather is back from a wild weekend in St. Barths. She leaned in and was ready to go, but of course got bamboozled while partying. She chats about the island experience, what you need to know before you go and how you need to always ask for an itemized receipt. She takes a voicemail about Robins’ lives and chats about her new special taping that she cannot wait for this spring!…
On this episode, Heather checks in from an icy, chaotic winter weekend. She gets deep into mahjong, considers stepping away from TikTok, and reflects on the current political landscape—speaking honestly about the fear, frustration, and responsibility that come with it. Episode Sponsors: Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com . Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and…
On this episode, Heather chats about nesting at home in Atlanta. She is out at the home goods, eating mushrooms she finds at Home Goods, and wearing cozy sweaters. She reminisces about jam band concerts, ahead of the summer concerts she is excited to go to and also the possibility of a Spice Girls reunion. She dissects voicemails about St. Barth's STD’s, age gap relationships, chronically late…
On this episode, Heather is on the “becoming Chinese” side of tik-tok, where she is being motivated to eat something warm in the morning and work out ( like everyone else at the year). She chats about the Ole Miss loss, why she isn’t at the Golden Globes and her healing titty wound. Voicemails from you guys get her yapping about pasta, the gym and sorority spring recruitment. Episode Sponsors:…
On this episode, Heather welcomes 2026 with a fresh calendar and a fresh injury— her burnt titty. She celebrates the highs of Ole Miss making a national run and the lows of credit card points betraying her Japan plans. She then dives into your voicemails full of fresh starts, fiery horses, and big “new year, same bitch” energy. Episode Sponsors: Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. Go to…
On this episode, Heather is ringing in the New Year with her favorite people, YOU! 2025 has been a series of ups and downs, but as we all know we can attribute this to not finishing the Vision Board last year. Heather is giving the best practices for you all to make your own vision board for 2026. She also goes through what everyone chimed in with what their 2026 goals are. Episode Sponsors: Give…
On this episode from the Christmas of 2022, Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows as well as doomsday prep for 2023. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was. It is too touchy of a subject and they will push onto their therapists 10 years down the road. Episode Sponsors:…
On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people. She then chats about…
On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design with his 6th grade bedroom, how to make sure you get the best antiques from your aging relatives, and how to work an estate sale. They take on the voicemails about holiday etiquette and gift giving. Episode Sponsors: Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at…
On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's better to have a…
On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive! Episode Sponsors: Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com . and if you’re…
On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane Kiffin conspiracies of Gators, LSU and Theo Von. She takes on the voicemails from people seeking gay bar advice, an unlikely cease and desist, and what it’s like to have your life flash before your eyes. Episode Sponsors: Pick up GOODLES on your next…
On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life with some sort of stomach bug in Austin. Heather also has a HUGE family announcement that is causing anxiety but all the excitement. She takes voicemails from Ole Miss tailgaters, Trader Joe’s virgins as well as a show-goer who needed medical…
On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Midland Moms drunk on Mountain Dew Margaritas. We also get a Texas Tony update! She takes voicemails from an unlikely DUI charge, doulas dilemmas, debates about starting a travel show. Episode Sponsors: Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30%…