maybe instagram isn't the problem, you are

“I hate Instagram” is something I keep hearing more and more these days.

Many of my friends (ages 25 - 30) have stopped posting or even deleted their accounts. And it breaks my heart because I see so much good in the app.

I have tried to change their minds for years. I have spent hours and many breaths explaining that Instagram isn’t the problem. If they could change their mindset they would see the beauty in the app. It can be so much more than most people use it for.

They haven’t all taken my advice but I hope one of you will.

They argue with me and say that I am “weirdly” attached to the app which yes, might be true. I have been on Instagram for over 12 years, it’s my favorite app. I have successfully documented many versions of myself. Since I have been posting since I was thirteen years old. I love to look back at what filters I thought were cool or what random rap lyric I chose to be the caption. I have rarely deleted a photo or video I posted, and I say that with pride.

Everyone should honor the previous versions of themselves.

The younger me would be over the moon to know I now get paid to post.

It all started because my manager at my barista job when I was 18 hated Instagram. Our owner made her post and she kept complaining to me about doing it. I explained I loved Instagram and then she gave me the job and I happily accepted.

I never knew this was something I could get paid for. I went on to find out that many businesses hire people to post on Social Media for them. Marketing is a popular career for people my age because all the oldies don’t know how to use social media apps. And you need to be on Instagram if you are a big or small business.

Once I transferred out of community college I even chose to major in Media Studies to improve my craft, but mostly because my homework was to watch movies.

God I loved college, it was the the most fun learning I have ever had.

I started as a girl who loved to take photos and share her life. And now I make most of my income by being a Social Media Manager. Dream come true, honestly.

So yes, we have a special bond, Instagram and I.

You are hearing from probably one of Instagram’s biggest supporters. Meanwhile, my best friend is probably Instagram’s biggest haters. I have enjoyed debating with her on this topic and feel well equipt to explain my case in defense of the app. I have to say I did successfully convince her to start posting again years ago. Now she’s off the app again, so I don’t push her anymore. I still have hope she will start posting again.

The other people I have talked to who hate Instagram, have some good reasons. Such as the high expectations, the permanence of posting, the highlight reel, the fakeness, the influx of influencers, the comparing, insecurities, privacy, etc. But with everything they hate about it, there are solutions to these problems.

I am here today to provide some solutions if you will hear me out.

The biggest problem I hear about is how one deals with the high expectations of what you should post. My solution is to remove expectations and let go of any high standard of what you deem worthy of sharing. There shouldn’t be any outside pressure you are feeling to satisfy then satisfying yourself.

Look at posting as just sharing an authentic memory, instead of trying to look perfect.

I think this belief that Instagram should only show the highlight reel of your life started because of the success of influencers. We have rewarded those who are pretending to be perfect because we all wish we were. An unattainable desire that Social Media allows you to pretend could be true.

I encourage you to block big Influencers or anyone who makes you feel bad.

There are so many great accounts to follow that are not posting highly edited photos (cough Kardashians/Jenners cough). I do not like them or any Influencers who alter their body with Photoshop and lie about It. They set a horrible precedent for the app.

It’s very harmful to alter a picture of your body with photoshopping.

I mean I am flawed, and in insecure moments I will do the occasional conceal feature over pimples and eye bags. But never any reshaping or anything that makes me look unrecognizable. I think you can find balance in editing, like with posting, there is a healthy amount. Don’t over edit and don’t post nonstop.

The block and unfollow buttons are worth clicking if your mental health is being impacted by what you are seeing. Remember that these Influencers are very insecure and it’s sad. It’s sad they feel the need to look flawless and it’s sad that they are scrutinized so much they can’t ever feel confident. It’s just sad.

I am a big believer in accepting you are flawed, as being one of the most freeing things you can do. Yet so many of us have continued this fakeness by only posting when we look our best or something amazing has happened to us. Or by literally altering your body with Facetune.

When this is all you see, you’ll start to believe thats the standard content.

Posting your beautiful self in Italy is great and all. But what about also finding beauty and posting in those mundane moments?

Ask yourself where is this high standard coming from. For most of you, it’s all in your head. You are creating or choosing to believe like others that your page should be a highlight reel of your life. Only sharing the best of the best moments. It’s not real life, you don’t always look your best, and you aren’t always somewhere special.

If you want to pretend that you are perfect, you have every right to do so. But it sounds miserable to me, and if I felt that pressure I would hate posting too.

Another point I need to touch on is those who do not want to post anymore because of how their body has changed. Trust me, it’s hard when you’ve been on Instagram for so long to visually look back at how your body changes as you get older. More specifically how the weight is harder to keep off, but you shouldn’t hide yourself.

You deserve to be seen. In any form, in any weight, in any light.

My solution during my peak weight gain was to keep posting through it. I have great empathy for those who stop posting once they don’t feel confident in the skin they are in. But it’s just skin, and it’s going to expand, wrinkle, and sag.

Our beauty is still there and can take on many new forms.

I can’t emphasize enough how much I understand not liking your picture taken. I much prefer to be the one behind the camera most of the time. I remind myself that I deserve to still post just as much as a thinner person. I think it’s good to be honest about changes happening. Even before you are ready to accept that they are.

Gaining weight is not a bad thing, let go of the fatphobia, you’re beautiful.

If you want to start posting again, you should. The hardest part will be starting up again. But just like an old car, you’d be surprised how smoothly it’ll run. Post your dog, post a song, post anything your heart desires. Once you start posting, it’ll get easier and easier to keep doing it. I can guarantee that.

What has worked best for me is that I have always looked at my page as a way to document my life. Even when nothing special is going on. Because I am not taking pictures for other people, I am taking them for self-satisfaction.

I am posting for future me to look back on and think, ah yes I remember that.

I try to take pictures every day of beautiful things. I encourage everyone to look around more. Beauty is all around you. You don’t have to travel somewhere special to see it and post about it. Just look up or down from your phone.

Instagram and I haven’t always had a healthy relationship like we do now.

As an insecure teenager, I had a bit of a toxic relationship with the app myself. I was very focused on likes, and followers since that became a sign of popularity in high school. If a photo didn’t get as many likes as I was hoping my mood would be altered.

But as a teen everyone is looking for proof that they are liked, and that they belong. I don’t blame teenagers for not having a healthy relationship with Instagram. They rarely have a healthy with themselves. Not to mention, there is a lot of cyberbullying that goes on the Internet.

I was lucky to mostly receive positive validation on Instagram from a young age.

But it wasn’t just because of posting high-quality photos of myself I shared. I have always used the platform however I wanted to.

Before Instagram Reels, I started a monthly montage which was I guess part of my “claim to fame” in high school. I would be at parties and people would ask me to record them so they’d be in the video. It was the most rewarding thing to be recognized as one of the first creative projects I enjoyed making.

Strangers I have never spoken to used to come up and say, “I love your Instagram!” I would smile and feel proud because I created something people loved.

And all it was, was me trying to figure out a cool way to document my life.

I look at Instagram as another way of self-expression.

I am an artist, and I have only chosen to claim this title recently. So of course everything I do I want to be an extension of my creative self. I do follow many others I adore who use the app as an outlet for being more creative. People are doing beautiful things on Instagram, you just have to follow the right accounts.

They will share art they make, poetry, film, create collages, or share beautiful eyeliner they did, and I love it. My favorite photos to see are photos of fruit and the sunset from your backyard, not of you flexing your life.

Attached below are a few accounts I follow that I think do a great job of utilizing Instagram however they want.

I want to get to know someone through their Instagram.

I love to see what music they like or make, what they pause to photograph, what outfits they wear, what they can create, and what makes them laugh.

If you ever are thinking before you post “No one cares to know this” - you’re wrong, I do. And I like to think so do many others as well.

Not everyone indeed likes to share, such as my best friend who I keep mentioning. (We have argued a lot about this okay.) She has explained to me that she is a private person, she’s a Virgo with a Scorpio moon. And feels like her life is not for most people to know what she is up to. I think that argument is the most valid.

If you want to keep your life to yourself then Instagram/Social Media is probably not the best place for you. I mean I still think you can not overshare on the app by just posting a flower or your makeup but I support your autonomy.

You shouldn’t feel any pressure to share anything you don’t want to share.

The solution I offer for those who desire to be more private is to create a new private Instagram. I have seen others who had a lot of followers from a young age grow older and create a new Instagram which I think is brilliant.

If you are not happy with allowing access to yourself from people you no longer connect with you can change that. At any point, you can set boundaries with the app, choose what you choose to share, and with which people.

I am a Leo sun, moon, and rising. So I am not someone who has ever felt like I should keep my life just to myself. I love to share, in every way I can.

I believe anyone’s life is worth sharing, if they feel a desire to share it.

As I mentioned earlier I am proud of my life and my wild journey on this earth. So I view my Instagram as a digital photo book I will get to look back at when I am fifty. Or I will look back on it when I want to scroll down memory lane.

I am even open to anyone insta-stalking me because I have a public page. I don’t share anything I don’t want to share. I have a finsta I can post to five people for those private moments. I set boundaries for my content, nevertheless I share a lot.

I barely have over a thousand followers, so I don’t ever feel overwhelmed with how many people are seeing parts of me.

Maybe if I was a bigger artist I would have a different opinion. I can only speak as someone who just loves to share for the sake of sharing. Since high school clout, I haven’t gained any significant amount of new followers. I am not posting to gain success or to try to make myself look any type of way.

I am just a local gal who people still follow, I don’t know why they’ve stuck around. I don’t get a lot of likes anymore, but thats truly fine, it’s not about that.

Instagram has done a pretty good job lately of realizing everyone’s desire to be more private. It started with the close friend features, hiding likes, and creating multiple accounts. It allows you to choose to select what you want to be public with everyone. We have come a long way since the days when we had a page for seeing everyone’s activity on Instagram. Oh boy did that feature cause drama in high school.

If you want to start a new page, you could, and never post a serious thing on your account if you don’t want to. I love a good meme page, and think thats great too.

I understand that some people simply love to pretend.

I admit it is difficult for me to accept that some don’t care to be authentic. Overall in life - but also in how they post on Instagram. It’s just so disappointing because it impacts the overall tone of the app. If you log on to see a bunch of models and rich boys on yachts it’s going to make others feel bad. Comparison is the thief of joy and sadly you can foster praise for living a lavish life easily on Instagram.

ANYTHING you photograph or enjoy doing is worth sharing.

If you are an artist of any sort you can use Instagram as a way to connect with others. It’s undeniable Instagram is a great place to grow as an artist, share important resources, create a business, and advertise your art/music/writing.

I mean I am using it currently as my main source to advertise my substack and it works to reach people. Thank you if you’re from Instagram for reading this far!

In conclusion, the point is that we all could love Instagram more if we wanted to.

It’s a blank canvas for you to choose the colors of. And if you don’t like the old colors you can get a new canvas. I hope that you do not let the influencers get you down and think you can’t just share an average Tuesday with your friends.

Let go of posting for likes and post anything pretty you see. Let go of expectations, and embrace the mundane. Please share your art, and reach whatever niche you can.

Instagram isn’t the problem, we are, but we could change that.