A Do’s and Don’ts to Surviving December

December is here, despite it all.

I've doubled the sheets on my bed, holiday sales are filling up my inbox, Christmas lights are sparkling in the streets, and my lips are dry.

December can be a merry, jolly time or the worst month of the year.

Winter is hard to get through. The days are longer, literally darker, and the end-of-the-year dread is so present. But cry no more, because I have figured out (through practice) how to have the worst and best times during this holiday season.

No, I am not surprised that I am once again struggling mentally lately. I wouldn’t say I am quite in full seasonal depression. But let’s just say, I haven’t been leaving my house much and my screen time is way up.

Look okay, I was born in the Summer miles from the oceans of North Carolina.

I am meant to be under the sunbeams with my toes in the sand. I am simply not cut out for this amount of darkness and cold. My body goes into hibernation, naturally. But if I want to embody the season I have learned how to push myself out of it.

I am really good at embracing the sadness that winter causes.

Yet, I can also plan out the perfect winter day.

Why not try to make a dos and don’t list? I see a lot of lists going on Substack, and I enjoy reading them. I also like trying out new styles of writing here.

Before I go on I want to add that I am a big believer in allowing sadness to exist.

I don’t allow myself to cry enough. In the past few years, I have been actively trying to allow my feelings to just be. So with that being said, if you are feeling sad and want to just dive into the sadness you can just make the “dont’s” I write down a “do.” It’s important to just feel your feelings not judge them. Easier said than done, believe me.

What to do to have the best December day (on a budget) :

1. First, go grab yourself a seasonal Mocha or a Hot Chocolate from a local cafe. Make it a moment, get cute for it, and put on those pants you never wear.

   1. Bring a book that you’ve been needing to read to finish your reading goal on Goodreads. Have a cute date with yourself or text a friend to meet you.

   2. When you’re at the cafe you should compliment a stranger, it’s good karma, and also obviously take pictures of your drinks.

2. Do listen to Christmas Music.

   1. As you’re driving home you must listen to at least 2 or 3 Christmas songs.

      1. I am not someone who loves Christmas music like most, so I have to kind of force myself to listen to it.

         1. Mistletoe by Justin Bieber is always a fun one to sing in the car.

         2. Or Blue Christmas, thats a classic that I love.

         3. Or Frosty Snowman by Fiona Apple.

3. Go for a walk!

   1. I know it’s cold and you don’t want to but you should.

      1. If you have a dog this is easier to do. Even if you don’t you still should make yourself walk around. As someone who loves to stay verticle, I hate that it’s truly so healing to just go on a walk.

      2. Get away from your phone and technology.

      3. Bonus points if you can catch a sunset. Where I live the sunsets are so bright and gorgeous this time of year. The colors just pop on the page, it’s the best part of winter, for me.

   2. If you go walk in a neighborhood you can admire all the Christmas decorations.

      1. Another one of the best parts of this month is seeing everyone’s lights and what decorations they chose to put up. Some of my favorites are seeing candles in the windows or Santas on the roof.

      2. The cornier the better, and it’s just such a cute human thing we do.

4. Do call someone you love.

   1. I often feel very somber in the winter so catching up with an old friend on the phone is a great way to feel connected. Remind yourself you’re not alone.

      1. You can talk about how crazy of a year it’s been because god wasn’t it insane?

   2. Call your grandparents because they always want to talk on the phone and I promise that they miss you and are lonely.

5. Do watch a movie.

   1. I don’t care if it’s in the comfort of your room or the theaters.

      1. You’ve got to enjoy a cold soda and some buttery popcorn.

      2. December is always when there’s a large influx of new movies dropping.

      3. The ones that I am currently excited to see are

         1. Queer

         2. Babygirl

         3. A Real Pain

         4. A Complete Unknown,

            1. I stan Timothee, sue me, I am just like other girls.

   2. If you’re going to watch a movie at home you got to pick a Christmas Classic.

      1. My favorites are:

         1. The Grinch (with Jim Carey)

         2. Santa Clause

         3. Polar Express

         4. Or a slept-on favorite is Elouise at Christmas Time.

6. Do take a bath!

   1. Pump those bubbles into the tub and let yourself relax in the warm water.

      1. Your toes are probably colder than you realize. Nothing warms your bones and relaxes your muscles like a bath.

      2. I don’t take enough baths but in the winter I make more of an effort.

   2. If you don’t have a bath take a long shower, sing your heart out, and take your time.

   3. Moisturize well afterward, you’re skin is thirstier for lotion this season.

7. Do make a baked good or order some cookies to be delivered.

   1. The holiday season is all about enjoying a sweet yummy baked good and you deserve to enjoy one. I love to make brownies with chocolate chips or those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey Kiss in the middle.

   2. It’s extra fun to bake with a friend or loved one but is also therapeutic alone.

What not to do on a December day:

1. Don’t stay in your house all day!

   1. I get why you’re doing it, it’s warm under the covers in your bed and it is cold out in the world. But the loneliness with swallow you up if you don’t leave.

2. Don’t think about all the people you lost closeness to this year.

   1. I find myself thinking about this a lot at the end of the year. Especially what presents I have to get and how I had a longer list last year.

      1. It seems each year I am losing people physically or just losing contact with them and it breaks my heart.

      2. I miss them all and wonder if they think of me as much as I think of them.

3. Don’t listen to sad piano music!

   1. I find myself sobbing harder this time of year. Something about the darkness of my car does it for me extra good.

   2. Everyone I have met has different music that makes them cry. I would argue there is something specifically about a piano that does it for most.

      1. Make It Through December by Phoebe Bridgers is my go-to right now.

4. Don’t eat a lot of fast food!

   1. Trust me, I love to eat fast food, but I have found that in the winter I eat it more than I should. In the winter I don’t feel like cooking as much. Plus, it’s too cold to get out of the car, and delivery is too expensive. So I go buy french fries and a chicken sandwich and then feel so greasy and gross.

   2. This also personally adds to my remembering I am overweight and sends me down a spiral. Nothing is wrong with being overweight but I do worry sometimes that the reason for my weight gain is my diet. Not enough to actively eat super healthy every day though.

5. Don’t weigh yourself!

   1. At the end of the year, we should be glutinous and eat all the sugar and carbs we can and not worry about weight. I in general don’t weigh myself anymore but sometimes at the end of the year, I get curious.

   2. Bad idea, don’t do it. It doesn’t matter. You are more than a number on a scale.

6. Don’t make a list of every bad thing that happened to you this year!

   1. I find myself doing this when I fall into the hole of feeling sorry for myself. And giving into the belief that nothing good ever happens to me.

   2. It’s easier to focus on the negative instead of being grateful but it will cause you to sink into sorrow.

      1. Gratitude is a beautiful way of survival.

7. Don’t spend more money than you have on gifts!

   1. I often feel pressure to buy my friends and family all the nice things they would love. And then at the end of the month realize I can barely afford rent.

   2. The best gifts are ones that come with sentimental attachment, not a big price tag.

      1. Unless your friends have expensive tastes, but if thats the case I would get different friends.

I also debated putting in don’t go shopping at the mall. But my friend made a point that she loves going to the mall during the holidays. I get overstimulated at a busy mall more than anywhere else but I can see how to others it’s a joyous winter activity.

On the other hand, another possible activity I thought about putting in the do list was to go buy a Christmas sweater. Although I know not everyone likes to dress like a grandma like I do. I do stand by it’s so fun to dress up in an ugly christmas sweater.

But there we have it, those are my recipes for how to have the saddest or best type of day this December. Today I had one of those really good days, and I am feeling joy.

Although honestly, so far this month has been me doing things I shouldn’t be doing to help me feel better. Included in my don’ts is scrolling on TikTok for hours and seeing a horrible news story every day. That is followed by sending me down another thought spiral believing the world is beyond saving.

December is hard. I know that to be true. If you’re in a dark headspace you’re not alone. I know in the past I have regretted it when Christmas is over and I realize I felt like Scrooge the whole season and didn’t enjoy it when I should have.

I am sure you’ve overcome more than you realized this year and we are almost done! You got this! Be proud of yourself, and be kind to yourself!

I wish everyone who reads this will feel more jolly than sad this season <3