Does your name decide who you become?

Ever wondered why people say things like, “Oh, you look like an Aisha”? It’s such a funny thing to say because... what does an Aisha even look like?

There isn’t a universally agreed-upon face for an Aisha, or a David, or a Michael. Yet somehow, we all seem to have this shared belief that certain names come with certain personalities, appearances, or vibes.

Well, I learned something about why that is, and I want to talk about it. Hehehe.

There’s a concept called nominative determinism. It’s the hypothesis that people may have a tendency to gravitate toward places, careers, interests or behaviours that somehow match their names. I stumbled upon it on Instagram, and although it’s still a debated theory rather than a proven fact, it fascinated me.

You’ve probably seen people mention Usain Bolt and think, “Of course the fastest man alive is called Bolt”, and move on.

Turns out, there’s an entire hypothesis for that.

One of my favourite things about learning is discovering that something I’ve always felt, has a name.

You know those moments when you’ve had a thought for years, and then one random day you find out someone has already studied it? It’s oddly comforting. Like finding out you’re not the only person whose brain wandered in that direction.

But I digress.

People have called me “crazy” more times than I can count, but not in a bad way. In a shocking way. I tend to catch people off guard. I say and do things they weren’t expecting.

Whenever someone says, “You’re crazy, or You're not normal” I usually laugh and reply, “Well, my name means unique. You didn’t expect anything less, did you?” I still said that last week, by the way. 😂 I always thought I was just making a joke.

Now I’m wondering if there was more truth in it than I realised, because if theories like nominative determinism hold even a tiny bit of weight, maybe our names quietly shape how we see ourselves. Maybe hearing the meaning of your name over and over again nudges you toward becoming that person.

If you’re constantly told your name means “strong,” do you unconsciously try to be strong? If your name means “peace,” do you become someone who avoids conflict? If your name means “wise,” do you feel the need to always have the answers?

Or maybe none of that is true. Because judging by Sincere from Love Island... I’d have to call the theory into question. 😂

Perhaps we simply notice the moments that fit the story we’ve already told ourselves.

But here’s where it gets even more interesting. This isn’t just about how we see ourselves. It’s also about how society sees us, how we are perceived.

For decades, many Black parents in Western countries have chosen names they believe sound more traditionally “white” or racially ambiguous because they hope those names might reduce discrimination in schools or the workplace. Whether or not we agree with that decision, it reveals something profound– we already believe names carry weight before we’ve even met the person.

When I went further down the rabbit hole, I found out that even research suggested the same. In a landmark 2004 study, economists Marianne Bertrand and Sendhil Mullainathan sent out identical résumés with different names attached. Résumés bearing names like Emily and Greg received significantly more interview callbacks than the exact same résumés with names like Lakisha and Jamal. The qualifications were identical. The experience was identical. But the names changed.

Then there are names that become stereotypes all on their own.

Say the name Karen, and most people immediately picture someone demanding, rude and entitled, not because every Karen behaves that way, but because culture has attached a story to the name. For me, it’s because I saw a “best Karen moment” video on Instagram and since then,“Karen’s are rude” stuck.

We do the same thing here.

People will confidently tell you that someone “looks like an Aisha,” that every Tolu behaves a certain way, or that an Emeka must be a businessman. Or the Màmá that will ask for your name and say, “ah, the Fareedahs I know are troublesome, hope you aren’t?” None of these ideas are based on evidence, yet they feel strangely familiar because we’ve attached identities to names.

Either way, I find the idea fascinating.

Because nominative determinism says I was always going to lean into whatever my name means, that I had tendency, maybe the pull, to grow into it without ever deciding to. And looking at the version of myself people call “crazy”, I think I have.

So now I’m curious. What’s your name? Do you know what it means? Do you think you’ve become it?

Does your name shape who you become, or do you shape what your name comes to mean? Apparently, the theory thinks it's the former. And honestly, after sitting with this for a while, I'm not so sure I disagree.

But let me know what you guys think. I want to see names in the comment section, plssss. I’m interested 🤭

Your anonymous bestie

Ree