Have we failed young people by teaching them to be empathetic?

Have we failed young people by teaching them to be empathetic?

I listened to a podcast yesterday about a current debate over the role of empathy in social and political action: whether it’s essential for human thriving or “toxic.” While I definitely had a hard time getting behind the “toxic” argument, I kept thinking that this debate was missing a key point: that the way my generation is experiencing empathy is vastly different than generations before us as a result of being chronically online.

Young people are coming of age in an unprecedentedly dark and confusing information ecosystem that is constant, complicated, and exhausting. With countless crises competing for our attention, taking empathetic action has become increasingly difficult.

As Jamil Zaki, Professor of Psychology at Stanford, notes in the podcast, empathy helps us connect across differences, make thoughtful choices, and improve our well-being. Yet, empathy can also come at a psychological cost.

For many young people, our empathy response is triggered endlessly by the daily flood of suffering, bad news, and polarization. Overwhelmed and unsure where to begin, we often struggle to translate empathy into action.

This is the challenge of empathy fatigue.

One of the guests on the podcast, a relationship therapist, claimed that the solution to empathy fatigue is to take breaks from empathy. Now, I’m all for a mental health day, but this is not the only solution and misses a bigger point.

We must remember that empathy’s power lies not just in the internal practice of empathy, but in the action we take because of our empathetic response. When empathy has nowhere to go – no outlet – it can turn into sadness, desensitization, paralysis, or apathy. Too many young people are feeling unable to pair their empathy with purposeful action.

So have we failed young people by teaching them to be empathetic? No. But many have failed to understand how the experience of empathy has shifted. We must invest in supporting young people to navigate this information ecosystem and channel their empathy to make real change.

Yes, we can (and should) set boundaries – maybe stop receiving news from TikTok – but the solution is not to empathize less. The solution is to activate young people to do more in response to what they feel. To do that, we need to equip young people with the skills and support systems they need to turn well-founded empathy into movement building, organizing, and solution-oriented innovation. And if you know Civics Unplugged, I think you know where I’m going with this…

Have thoughts? Feel free to comment on LinkedIn or shoot me a email at abbybinder23@gmail.com.