Self-Discovery Through Rediscovery

My summer has been two things: pensive and social.

I don’t know if that combination makes sense at all, but it has been how I’ve been navigating work and life in Berlin and just recently, from a trip to New York.

Summer, so far, has been great. At 33, I thought I had reached past the age of finding delight in experiencing new things, but man, was I wrong. From building new friendships to bouts of inward growth, to learning to redefine what home means to me, I feel like I’m just starting to settle into a version of myself that I really love.

And now that we’re onto the second half of the season, I feel this insatiable pull to retreat to my own bubble, take time to nurture my creative practice, and be a full-on introvert—complete with being less available (to others) and more attuned to the work that’s right in front of me. I was hoping to be more diligent about this, complete with a “no phone” Sunday, but as someone who has friends in different timezones, that’s not entirely possible.

But I have been carving out time for introspection, and finding little ways to fill my creative cup. These are some of the things that have been sustaining and sparking my creative energy lately.

While on a café date with Caro, she showed me her thinking notebook: a bright red Leuchtturm1917 notebook full of ideas she’s been brewing and threads she’s been weaving. This inspired me to start one of my own. And while the temptation to pick up a Leuchtturm notebook of my own is real (I live in Germany, anyway!), I decided to start small and use up a TRAVELER’S notebook insert instead.

My mornings now begin with what I call a “download”, which is simply writing down what’s in my head, finding connections, and organizing my thoughts on paper. It’s been freeing to do this; in a way, I am able to process ideas before they becomes tasks on my planner. I’m always so focused on what I’m doing that it’s clearly very important to also remember why I’m doing it.

I’m no art school graduate, but I can definitely say that much of what I know about creative work and mindset has come from reading creative nonfiction books since I started my career a decade ago.

The same principle holds true many years later: I’m always finding ways to learn and get inspired from fellow artists, so I deemed this summer to be the summer of nonfiction. I’ve put together a stack of books I have to go through, but right now I’ve been reading both Art and Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland, and Don’t Call It Art by Austin Kleon.

I’ve been a loyal reader of Austin Kleon’s writing (he’s the reason I made an account on Substack!) so it’s been wonderful diving back into his books (I’ve reread Show Your Work earlier this year). I’ve been diligently taking notes and been enjoying the process so far. Next up, I have Make Your Art No Matter What by Beth Pickens waiting on my Kindle as I gear up for a quick trip to Italy next week.

I’m all for less logistics and more fun, so when my friend Char suggested we go on a drawing trip, it made sense for us to pack our bags, leave for Dresden at seven in the morning, go oooh and aaah over the beautiful architecture, get some drawing done, and head home just in time for sunset.

Plus, a day trip means less money to spend, fewer logistics to plan (finding a place to stay being one of them), and less friction when it comes to actually getting the drawing done. The time constraint is also a good limitation.

I shared more notes and the guidelines we set for the day trip here. I’d totally do it again!

While I pride myself on watching films regularly as one of my hobbies, I’ve admittedly fallen off that wagon since the springtime.

I decided to slowly make my way back by watching Ghibli films, starting with Only Yesterday. This is such an underrated gem of a film, and it admittedly took me three hours to finish (I went with the original Japanese audio with English subtitles), but I basked in the beauty of every shot and the mundanity of it all. It’s also perfect to watch in the summer!

The story revolves around Taeko Okajima, a 27-year-old Tokyo resident, as she heads to the countryside and reminisces about her childhood years. The nostalgia of the past blends beautifully with the reality of the present, as the film moves between different points in time and takes you along for the emotional journey.

I watched a video essay explaining the film, and I loved this phrase as a summary of Only Yesterday: self-discovery through rediscovery. (I definitely stole this phrase to make it the title of this post!)

I have absolutely no idea how or why, but I somehow got emails from two of my all-time favorite magazines about being featured around the same time, too. Hey, universe, I see what you are doing here…

I’m feeling extra grateful for these little surprises in my inbox. Answering the interview questions gave me a renewed sense of respect and appreciation for the work I’ve been doing all my life. In the process, I picked up my trusty Sharpie and Manila paper and updated my brand values and goals moving forward. Feels great!

Being an artist is hard! But deliberately choosing to walk this path has always been the way I’ve felt most like myself.

And doing these activities since I got back from a long trip has definitely restored my creative energy. More than that, they’ve reminded me that I’ve been doing these exact same things since my twenties—only now, in my thirties. Same same, but different.

It’s funny how I’ve been discovering that I keep going back to the person I was back then, just a little bit older and (maybe) wiser. I keep finding myself revisiting versions of my younger self, only to remember that I’m still the same person underneath it all.

As I develop a new Skillshare class (and figure out which class topic excites me from my never-ending list of ideas) and dive into the rest of my work for the year, I’m looking forward to seeing how everything connects and finds its way together.

How are the ways you’ve been nourishing your creative energy? I’d love to know!

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