On Monday, I felt a pang of anxiety hit as I sat down at my desk. I haven’t finished my monthly meeting pages and I heard the constant voice in my head say, “what are you doing?”, together with the impatience of having to respond swiftly with a running to-do list that seems to go nowhere.
I had just come back from a few days in Stockholm, mostly to renew my creative energy and find inspiration outside my studio.
It was an amazing four days. But with every trip comes this sense of urgency I somehow have—that time is passing so quickly, and I have made no progress at work.
The next days were blurry (and admittedly scary). I went to bed last Tuesday whining to myself saying, “I didn’t even get to sit on my couch today!” which meant I was busy all day drawing and in a meeting. On Wednesday, I was lying on the couch while Keisha was busy taking back-to-back meetings on my desk. It was a forced day off, after not getting enough sleep the night before, my period coming in at the most unholy hour, and suffering through a nauseous episode and sharp pain in my stomach (I swear, I really thought something burst). In the middle of all of this, I also hopped into back-to-back meetings at work and had to process a lot of new information, which added to the mental blur of the week.
It’s finally Friday as I’m typing this, and happy to report that I managed to make my way to my desk, feeling a little bit more stable, head a tiny bit clearer, and ready to tackle the rest of my to do list.
Construction updates
I was in a pensive place last month, going through a lot of rebuilding and restructuring. Construction is still ongoing, and my job remains a work in progress.
June started with some small wins, but it all passed me by as I’ve been feeling this ebb and flow of work and life and the constant uncertainties that come with it. But two things can be true, right? So I’m allowing myself to celebrate the good bits as well, because I can (and life is short).
I’m happy to share that I finished updating my website. It was a spontaneous idea to finish the task in two weeks, but I’m glad I did. It kept me excited to work towards a deadline—and then head to Stockholm the week after!
It’s pretty much live, but I don’t like promoting it as much as it’s never going to be finished. I plan to populate it with posts that would be helpful and educational (and an excuse to find ideas from my archive), and trickle in some fun stuff down the line. I want to share my process about rebuilding my website soon, once I get back to my usual writing cadence.
In teaching news, I recently got promoted to Top Teacher on Skillshare! I still can’t believe I’m typing this, as I started my career as a student on the platform.
I’m truly grateful to my students and the Skillshare team for recognizing and supporting my work. It feels like a full circle moment, and also just the beginning of my journey as a teacher.
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Hello, goodbye
One of my goals this Q2 was to replace my iPhone 13 Pro. I kept migrating the task of reserving and picking up a new phone at an Apple Store because, admittedly, I hate adapting to new tech.
In the true spirit of procrastination, I waited until I got back from Stockholm to set up my iPhone 17 Pro (in Cosmic Orange, of course). After the transfer process, I was logged out of all my accounts, had to reactivate Apple Pay and sign in, among other things. As my new phone stared back at me, I glared at the glassy skin-esque interface of iOS 26. But alas, such are the times, and adapting is key.
I had also traded in and bid farewell to my phone of five years. That phone saw me through huge life changes, a breakup, and moving abroad. I finally went back to the store earlier this week to drop it off for recycling. A little bittersweet, but honestly, I don’t know how I survived with 128GB all this time.
The irony of switching phones is that I’ve kept Instagram off mine for the past three weeks. It started as a test but felt more like a break, as I realized how much time I’ve been spending scrolling and posting instead of creating.
I’ve also reached my annual I’m in a posting funk phase. I’ve written about it here before and have seriously considered quitting social media altogether and focusing on growing my existing communities. It seems like I tend to make rash decisions lately and it’s a reminder to let things cook first, before I take action.
But who am I kidding? I’m not ashamed to admit that my creative business thrives when I share on social media. Probably not through short-form content, but through other meaningful ways that connect and inspire. After all, I’m putting my Advertising degree to good use, and I’m a proud Woman in SPAM (although I like to keep my content intentional and not literally spam you, okay?).
And yes, I did end up redownloading Instagram, with time limits and set rules. Anyway, I’ve been busy playing Peko Pop1 every evening, so there’s no scrolling for sure…for now.
A Berlin summer
My hot take (pun intended) is that summer is actually my favorite season. Iced drinks, cold noodles, peak energy (well, I hate that I don’t get enough sleep though)—it’s the season I feel the most like myself and the most alive.
I used to schedule a ton of travel and was always in the US for half of the season, but this year I finally decided against it, except for a work trip to New York. I owe it to myself to have a Berlin summer, whatever that means (for me). I just want to enjoy the normal days, the ones that don’t require too much planning or second-guessing. I love doing my work blocks in my studio. I love going to my workouts to start and end the week. I love cooking in my tiny kitchen while blasting music I sing along to. I love putting a movie on while I bury my face in the mountain of pillows on my bed. I love seeing friends and going to the farmers’ market on weekends. I am truly in my thirties and embracing every bit of it.
In my head, a Berlin summer is one where I can take my time, savor every bit of sun, go on long walks, and celebrate the present moment, no matter how messy life gets. It’ll also be exactly a year since I moved into my own apartment, and I think that alone is worth celebrating.
Oh, and no more working Saturdays, please, Abbey. Please. It can wait until Monday.
I just realized it’s New Moon this weekend. No wonder I’ve been deep cleaning and introspection these past days. I haven’t cracked open my journal this week yet, but I should definitely get to writing.
An introvert weekend is what I’ve planned so far, and I’ve been slowly working through the small tasks I’ve been neglecting at home (like clearing that one messy table, iykyk). The midyear Techo Kaigi is also on my schedule next week and is very much in the works!
I hope you take some time to settle into the warmer days too.
P.S. The title is a mantra I put on this year’s vision board and a little homage to my Pisces rising. I do sometimes wish I were less emotional and sensitive, and of course I blame it on my chart. But what if I learned to embrace these feelings instead of pushing them away? My Capricorn Sun is shaking, I’m telling you.
More pensive posts I’ve been enjoying writing lately:
Apparently this was already delisted from the App Store (noo!) and I only have it because my old phone did :( I was so excited to share it ‘cause it’s so CUTE and visually fun to play
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