Why it's important to know the answer when you ask: Who Am I?

My mom and I were recently discussing what self-awareness means. As a person who dedicated her entire life to her husband and children, my mom has done everything for her family, but in the process, began to lose her own identity. From witnessing this, I asked myself: Who am I?

The first thing that comes to mind: I am strong. There have been way too many times when I tell myself “suck it up, buttercup,” and I would’ve sucked it up. I’ll face everything and anything, and most of all: I’ve learned to not care.

There was a period of time in middle school that really changed me. All of a sudden, I, a girl, was hanging out every day with 3 guys. It wasn’t supposed to be that way, but due to some not-so-complicated reasons, that’s what happened. I knew every eye was on me, and I knew for sure that there was gossip behind my back. I would try to steer my guy friends and me from the spots at school with the most people, making any attempt to cut down the number of people staring at me. I wasn’t popular, but enough people knew me to notice that I was the only girl in that group. I think that was when I realized those eyes, those voices, don’t matter. They don’t know the story, and many of them most definitely don’t know me. I could’ve easily joined another group of girls, left these guy friends behind. But I didn’t want to, because they were my friends. They didn’t judge me, even though we were in the most judgey place of all: middle school. Even though the situation was different, I was happy, and that was all that mattered.

Since that moment, I haven’t cared about social status, gossip, or popularity. Even though I am no longer in middle school, I learned so much from that experience. I realized that the only person I need to care about is myself, and those who’ve stood by me.

What else is there to know about me? Oh, I am smart! I get A’s, and people know it. Studying isn’t a burden for me, because I value education, and I work hard for it.

I am social! I love a big crowd around me, full of people I know. I love to walk down a hallway at school and wave to my friends, start conversations that switch into other conversations, turn in any direction and see a familiar face. I want to be in a room full of people and know at least one person, and then end up knowing the entire room.

I have so much energy. I can talk, and talk, and TALK, and I wouldn’t want to stop. I like to think I am funny sometimes, but that can also transition into seeming weird, but again, I don’t care; that’s me, and I feel happy surrounded by people who know that.

I love to laugh. I love my family. I love not-so-niche things, and a conversation about it. I tease my friends a lot, which could result in me saying something extreme and then regretting it, but trust me, I apologize and am trying to hold back!

I am honest and sharp. I know it can hurt people sometimes, so I hold back when I need to. I am also practical and efficient, which doesn’t always make me the most likeable person in the room, but definitely the fairest.

I don’t like ambiguity. If you are going to do something or say something that’s gonna affect me, and I care about you, say it. If you don’t say it, I am going to be mad, and you are going to know it. I like to think I am a good friend, but if you don’t think so, let me know and tell me why; I want to improve!

My pet peeve is when someone takes my hair tie and doesn’t give it back. Two people have done that so far: one in October 2023, and another in March 2025. And I will never forget them. If you’re one of them: Watch. Your. Back. 👀

In this moment, as I am writing this, this is who I am. Self-awareness is really important, and without it, your mental health tanks; trust me, I’ve witnessed it. If you’re not fully sure, that’s okay, but remember to take the time to understand yourself, and not be defined fully by your surroundings. I know who I am; do you?

PS: If you took my hair tie: GIVE. IT. BACK.