It is very important that you be embarrassed

I am mortified by making mistakes and in my young adulthood actually preferred to just stop doing things altogether if I was going to suck at them in public. As a person, I am the kind of Type A achiever who needs to be good at something right away— and gets frustrated and gives up when I’m not.

This is one of my worst, most life-eroding qualities as a person.

It is best to override this instinct altogether by immersing myself in mental or physical humiliation with potential for complete transformation.

When I was 24, I was having a quarter-life crisis and booked myself a last minute surf retreat to Hawaii. My start-up job had given me the money to pursue interests and hobbies, but none of the time, and I was feeling trapped in that dichotomy, as many of us are around our quarter life crises.

When I got to Oahu, I learned that I had actually signed up for something else entirely— this was not a beginners surf retreat. This was a retreat for professional female longboarders who were 40+.

I knew I was in over my head as everyone shared which expert techniques they were hoping to develop in our two weeks together, but I don’t think I understood just how in over my head I was until the first session at sunrise on Day 1.

Reader, I could not even paddle out that day.

The waves were breaking about a mile out. My arms were like limp noodles. I was immeasurably humbled.

Two things had become clear:

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